happy-go-lucky panda

Kung Fu Panda (2008) Movie Review

“Kung Fu Panda” is the story of a fat (is there any other kind?) panda that dreams about being an awesome kung fu warrior, and when given the chance, rises to the occasion. In-between those moments, we get plenty of fat jokes at the panda’s expense, and enough cartoon kung fu violence to, possibly, convince parents this may not be the right movie to be taking your very impressionable kids. Especially if said kids have a bad habit of using little sis as a punching dummy to try out his new “moves”.

The above said, Dreamworks’ “Kung Fu Panda” is a fun little movie, although “little” may be a bit of an exaggeration. Take a look at the voice cast: Jack Black as Po the panda, Angelina Jolie as Tigress, Jackie Chan as Monkey, Dustin Hoffman as Shifu, and of course, the always incredible Ian McShane (of Deadwood fame) as the villainous Tai Lung. Which reminds me: I was never really sure why Tai Lung was supposed to be such a villain; as far as I can tell, his only qualification for the mantle is that he’s really good at kung fu, and he really, really wants that kung fu scroll that, when read, will endow the reader with incredible kung fu mastery. But to hear the movie talk about him, you would think the guy went around eating babies or some such.

But I digress.

In “Kung Fu Panda”, Jack Black voices Po, a happy-go-lucky panda who toils away in his father’s (voiced by the venerable James Hong, no less) noodle shop. His father dreams of passing on the family business, which includes the family’s secret ingredient noodle soup recipe to his son, but Po has other dreams – namely joining up with his idols, the five martial arts masters known as the Furious Five, and fighting the good fight against villainy and such. Alas, being a panda, he’s a bit, well, fat, and not all that coordinated. Or fast. Or able to climb a lot of stairs really fast. Because, you know, being fat and all. But as it turns out, Po’s secret weapon is none other than his appetite and prodigious belly, which comes in mighty handy when Tai Lung escapes his prison (guarded by 1,000 soldiers to Tai Lung’s singular prisoner) and seeks vengeance after 20 years of captivity..... read more

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Step Up 2 - Movie Review

I went to the special premiere screening of Step Up 2 coincidentally with all the Top 12 finalists from So You Think You Can Dance (Australia) and honestly it was one of the WORST movies I've ever seen, hands down the WORST dance movie I've ever seen that it's the type of movie only worth downloading and watching from your computer. Or even just cut scenes from Youtube. That's because you can skip all the talking BS and go straight to the mediocre and overdramatized dance sequences which is probably the only reason people go to watch it anyway.

Ok, so I'm probably not the target audience. I'm a street dancer and as my fellow crew member Chux would say, "You're not a street dancer, if you're not on the street." Maybe I just had higher expectations, considering Jabbawockeez were involved, and their 30 second spot was the best part of the film. That, and Chase's (Robert Hoffman, You Got Served) freestyle solo in class.

The lead actors were dull and plain, lacking the street cred they claim in the film. There was so much cleavage or stomach being shown but at least it distracted me from the crap talking (and I don't mean the amusing type of crap). And Cassie, her role was so useless, she would've been better if her character was the evil bitch ex-girlfriend of the popular guy, or maybe they could've scrapped her altogether from the film, it prolly wouldn't have made a difference. Storyline? What storyline?

There were around 3 main dancing scenes, the first with the trampolines was not all that impressive, and the ending was a piece of crap. They took Omarion's rain scene from You Got Served, added a lot more people and a lot more rain and a longer routine. Sure, the dancing was cool but it wasn't all that fresh. I've seen much better on the streets and battlegrounds of Sydney.

I think watching America's Best Dance Crew and the 360 Crew Freestyle Battles a few weeks ago, set my standards for the dancing in this movie, so it's not so bad to those who don't watch a lot of live freestyle dance battles or street group showcases (i.e. Kabamodern and Jabbawockeez - youtube them!)

So just because I really disliked it doesn't mean I'm going to advise other people not to watch it because F*** you are all capable of making your own decisions and I encourage that. I actually thought the first one was alright, and it sh*ts all over this one.

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Spiderman 3

The Spiderman movies have definitely changed the story from the comic book. Watching the first of the film , I wasn't happy with the depiction of Peter Parker as more self-centred and vain, which is unusually in the context of the comic books. At this moment, Peter Park goes through so much crap that it's a wonder he doesn't commit suicide (it's kind of like Jack Bauer in 24).

Some factual points that were changed, which I'll agree was necessary to make a decent movie, are as follows: The Venom costume is an alien being acquired during the Secret Wars battle with the Beyonder (which was one of the best "cosmic" series Marvel has put out). Spiderman doesn't want to kill villains; even when he is beaten and pulverised, he holds back from taking the ultimate step (in fact, it is rare to show people dying in the comic books). Harry Osborn is more like the depiction of Normie Osborn (the son of Harry and Liz Allan) who is friends with the daughter of Spiderman (Spidergirl). Gwen Stacy is killed by the first Green Goblin (Norman Osborn). The people of New York have rarely been on the side of Spiderman. J. Jonah Jameson has always had a point in saying that it is people like Spiderman who create the villains. And so on.

It's difficult for me to reconcile what I know of Spiderman's history with a movie story that does its best and I admire that. A problem with the movies is that they can't intersect with the other characters from the Marvel Universe. It would be great to have movies like the Secret Wars or the Infinity Gauntlet, War, and Crusade series where a bunch of the Marvel superheroes get together and the stories make more sense (for example, explaining the origin of the Venom symbiote), but I guess that would be a logistic and budgetary nightmare.

Halfway through the movie, the story gets in line with what you'd expect from the book. The rejected symbiote bonds with a humiliated Eddie Brock to become Venom, one of the coolest villains to be introduced in the later years. The Sandman is a villain who is ambiguous. And Spiderman has a run of bad luck and is pummeled constantly but triumphs in the end against all odds.

I once wrote a review of the Batman series where I connected them to a lot of the comic books (I own a huge number of Spiderman comic books) and some other reviewer criticised my review. The perspective I offer is fairly unique: it is based on an experience I can't ignore or negative, and I think it helps place the movie in context of a long history of the books. So if you're interested in the saga of Spiderman beyond what you see in the three movies, I recommend buying some of the great story arcs of Spiderman just to see how complicated and mythological the creations are.

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Kung Fu Panda (2008) Movie Review

“Kung Fu Panda” is the story of a fat (is there any other kind?) panda that dreams about being an awesome kung fu warrior, and when given the chance, rises to the occasion. In-between those moments, we get plenty of fat jokes at the panda’s expense, and enough cartoon kung fu violence to, possibly, convince parents this may not be the right movie to be taking your very impressionable kids. Especially if said kids have a bad habit of using little sis as a punching dummy to try out his new “moves”.

The above said, Dreamworks’ “Kung Fu Panda” is a fun little movie, although “little” may be a bit of an exaggeration. Take a look at the voice cast: Jack Black as Po the panda, Angelina Jolie as Tigress, Jackie Chan as Monkey, Dustin Hoffman as Shifu, and of course, the always incredible Ian McShane (of Deadwood fame) as the villainous Tai Lung. Which reminds me: I was never really sure why Tai Lung was supposed to be such a villain; as far as I can tell, his only qualification for the mantle is that he’s really good at kung fu, and he really, really wants that kung fu scroll that, when read, will endow the reader with incredible kung fu mastery. But to hear the movie talk about him, you would think the guy went around eating babies or some such.

But I digress.

In “Kung Fu Panda”, Jack Black voices Po, a happy-go-lucky panda who toils away in his father’s (voiced by the venerable James Hong, no less) noodle shop. His father dreams of passing on the family business, which includes the family’s secret ingredient noodle soup recipe to his son, but Po has other dreams – namely joining up with his idols, the five martial arts masters known as the Furious Five, and fighting the good fight against villainy and such. Alas, being a panda, he’s a bit, well, fat, and not all that coordinated. Or fast. Or able to climb a lot of stairs really fast. Because, you know, being fat and all. But as it turns out, Po’s secret weapon is none other than his appetite and prodigious belly, which comes in mighty handy when Tai Lung escapes his prison (guarded by 1,000 soldiers to Tai Lung’s singular prisoner) and seeks vengeance after 20 years of captivity.

Read more »